It is so hard not to give up. I keep trying to tell myself that I should never give up, no matter what it is. Because if things turned out bad or not as planned, I wouldn't want it to be because of my lack of trying. I want to know that I tried my best and did my best, so it's not my fault if things don't work out.

But lately, it seems so much easier just to give up. It is so painful and tiring to try and work things out when everything I do seems to go against me no matter how hard I try. I feel so tired... and so old.

I'm so sick of being disappointed. Someone told me once, "It's much better to go through life expecting nothing, because when something good does happen, you'll feel so amazing". I secretly disagreed when I heard it, but now that I think about it.. Is this true? Should I go through life expecting nothing, so I would never have my high hopes dashed and my heart broken?

Funny how so far in this year, I'm doing better in my studies, but doing crap in my personal life. It feels so ironic. I guess you really can't have everything in life.

A best friend would really come in handy in times like these. Too bad I don't have one.