Didn't go uni today. I really don't want to miss my classes, particularly when the classes today are the ones I enjoy, but I think if I went to uni, I wouldn't be able to concentrate anyway. I hope I didn't miss too much. I hate getting notes from strangers in class. Shows you how antisocial I am in class huh?

Speaking of antisocial... I used to be antisocial as a kid, even up to my first year in high school. But I slowly learnt that no one really bothers with the shy, quiet, moody kid. It's less effort to just stick with the loud, outward bunch. So I changed to who I am now.. or rather, who people see me as. I have to be loud and happy and positive, because it just makes things better for everyone. And when I do revert to my old self, I am resented for it. It's almost like a crime to be unhappy these days.

Oh well. I still have this blog.

Okay, maybe not that bad.. but i did get my purse and mobile phone stolen on Friday night. I felt like a tiny bit of my identity has been stolen too. Somewhere, out there, a stranger has my drivers' license. He knows where I live, where I study, where I take my jeans for alteration.

Funny how we take things like that for granted. I guess it's not really that bad.. Somehow, those details in my life was something I took to be private. And it's chilling to know that a stranger knows all that now.

I wasn't very incredibly upset when it happened, surprisingly. But I did feel incredibly stupid. After all, it was partially my fault for getting it stolen. Should've been more careful. But oh well, any lesson can be a lesson well learnt.

Except my family seemed to think that I haven't learnt the lesson. I was merely being positive. After all, no one got hurt. But they seemed to almost imply I had my things stolen intentionally. What the hell for?! Just so I can get a new phone, mobile, etc.? My friends were more understanding. What's the point in moping around and keep blaming myself for? What's done is done. I can't undo what happened.

On other thoughts, I (re-)discovered an old song by All Saints, called Black Coffee. I've never heard the song before till yesterday. Brush your teeth, pour a cup of black coffee out. I love to watch you do that every day - the little things that you do.

I have an interview tomorrow morning at Mooks, and another on Friday afternoon at Satori Clone.

Fingers crossed!!

I want a job so bad. And money. That helps too. :)

I had such a nice long chat with Shing tonight.. It was really great to talk to her again, even if it was over MSN. I really miss that girl!!

Our chat was about all kinds of stuff, from things like work and studies and graduating, to friends and boys, to nonsense like what we're wearing and the weather. :D It reminded me of the times I used to have long chats with my friends in Malaysia, and gosh, I just miss that so much!! And it is just so great that despite not seeing each other in years and not talking to each other in months, we can just *click*!

You are fantastic, Shing!! I wish we had more time together as friends before I left. I wish I had pictures of us together. I miss you loads.

There are times when I agonise over what I want in life. Do I want a Masters degree? Do I want a steady job, or an exciting career? Am I content with staying in one place forever, or do I need to see the world before I can decide where to call home?

My life is riddled with questions. Questions that still go unanswered.

But sometimes... it isn't quite so complex. Some of the things that I want? I already have them.

I like having someone to love, with someone who loves me back. I like hanging out with friends, just chatting or watching a movie or just passing time doing different things, yet still appreciating the company of each other. I like studying - learning new and different things everyday. I like working, and being able to face challenges thrown at me.

I don't need a big house to live in, I just need a family that will make the house warm and cosy even in the coldest of winters. I don't need romantic dinners, just someone special who would share dinner with me even if it's just a peanut butter sandwich. I don't need fancy degrees, as long as I'm able to enjoy what I'm studying. I don't need friends who organise parties, just friends who are there even when the parties end.

So yeah, I do know what I want in life. I want happiness and laughter, and embarrassing moments, and tears and anger... I want to be able to say I have done this, or seen that, or struggled through pain and survived. I want all that life has to offer, because life is there to be lived.