<body><script type="text/javascript"> function setAttributeOnload(object, attribute, val) { if(window.addEventListener) { window.addEventListener('load', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }, false); } else { window.attachEvent('onload', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }); } } </script> <div id="navbar-iframe-container"></div> <script type="text/javascript" src="https://apis.google.com/js/platform.js"></script> <script type="text/javascript"> gapi.load("gapi.iframes:gapi.iframes.style.bubble", function() { if (gapi.iframes && gapi.iframes.getContext) { gapi.iframes.getContext().openChild({ url: 'https://www.blogger.com/navbar.g?targetBlogID\x3d2395195908284408595\x26blogName\x3dThis+Is+Me\x26publishMode\x3dPUBLISH_MODE_BLOGSPOT\x26navbarType\x3dBLACK\x26layoutType\x3dCLASSIC\x26searchRoot\x3dhttps://jasmine-ye.blogspot.com/search\x26blogLocale\x3den_US\x26v\x3d2\x26homepageUrl\x3dhttp://jasmine-ye.blogspot.com/\x26vt\x3d8505263862068950325', where: document.getElementById("navbar-iframe-container"), id: "navbar-iframe" }); } }); </script>
how are you doing over there?
i wonder if it rains, if you're well, if you're happy
who knew life would be so hard without you
every day feels like a dark rainy night
my bed is cold, my arms are empty

come home, my love
bring me bright, sunny days again

jasmine-ye .blogspot.com ♥

Wednesday, November 21, 2007
yexueli posted at 3:35 AM | 0 Noticed Me

My baby left me on Sunday morning. Now all I've got to remind me of him is Rua.


John got him for me in a little town called Tairua (hence 'Rua' :D) during our trip to Whitianga. I wish our trip had been a little longer. It just felt too short... and then he was gone.

There's no Internet or phone line where he lives (it's a pretty rural area) so we've been texting and calling each other on our mobile phones, but it's just not the same. Tuesday nights used to be the nights he'd come over, cuddle with me on the couch, and fall asleep as we watch tv. Friday nights were the nights I'd go over to his place after work, and we'd watch some movie or anime, or play badminton with my parents. Now every night is the same. I sit in front of the tv, but nothing interests me. So I try to occupy myself with reading, but I can't help feeling my bed seems to be colder and colder with every consequent night.

So I've been hanging out with Jackie and Sarah to push away this feeling of loneliness. That, and shopping. Shopping therapy has always been good for me, and able to lift my darkest spirits. But I forget that the feeling is always temporary, and that I would fall down that pit of deepest misery once more. So there's gonna be more times of hanging out with the girls. Left alone, depression engulfs me.

I got my ears pierced today.

It's almost as if I was hoping that the pain from the piercing can take away the pain inside my heart. But it didn't hurt, not really. I seem to have a high threshold for pain. Needles scare me a little, but the process itself always seem highly tolerable. Strange. Must be all the years of constantly cutting myself and injuring myself.

Before that, I went to Valleygirl looking at almost every single item in the store, spending about an hour in there trying on clothes and deciding which looked good. I got 2 dresses in the end - one casual, one dressy - for $50. Bargain! :) But the damn store's Eftpos machine wasn't working, so I had to withdraw cash from my bank account. I ended with less than $15 in my cheque account by the end of the day. Thank goodness for wages! Not that it really helped. My cheque account is now slightly above $80. Didn't want to transfer too much from my savings - trying to save (that's why it's a savings account, eh?).


Later, after getting my ears pierced, I met up with the girlies and off we went! To the Bendon lingerie sale! Gosh the store was packed! And that was only 5 minutes or so after the sale started. At one point, they had to close the doors to prevent more people coming in cos there were too many people inside. Crazy, eh? Queues for the fitting rooms and the cashiers were looooong. So we just chose what we want, browse around until the cashiers wasn't as busy, and made our purchases. It was 50% off all bras, and was supposed to be limited to 3 per customer, and to members only. But in the end they gave the discount to everyone, and rang up separate transactions if someone had more than 3. Pretty nice of them but the cashiers sure were hectic! One of the staff looked so stressed I thought she was gonna faint! Poor girl. In the end, we all came out with a Bendon bag in hand, 2 bras each. The sale was a good deal, but some bras were still waaay too expensive, even after 50% off!

We had dinner at a foodcourt nearby, then took the bus back home. (Neither one of us can drive, haha) It's actually my dad's birthday today, so when I got home, I gave my dad his birthday present and we cut the birthday cake.

The birthday song was notedly lacking, as my sister was in Malaysia and not around with us. My mum made my dad wear the All Blacks polo shirt I got him, thinking his t-shirt looked too scrappy for photos. What she didn't know was I got a picture of her in her trackpants. Hehe. We had a lovely mudcake that even my usually I-don't-really-like-cakes dad enjoyed, with some Earl Grey tea. After that, we called my sister in Malaysia. I didn't realise how much I actually missed my sister's presence. We talked for a while until the phone grew hot and she had to call a friend.

With my sister gone, I feel the loneliness even more easily. Usually my sister's around the house, and I can hear the tv or radio blaring. If she's not around, then John's usually around. And now they're both away. I feel so miserable. No amount of shopping can cure that.